Hi! I'm so happy you're here. Welcome to Chai Beauty, where I get to share my thoughts, my dreams, my aspirations, my visions for the future, and guess what? You get to be along for this journey because we are in this together.
I heard what you needed, and I wanted to give you opportunity to enjoy what I thought you were like, for example, I mowed the lawn, I cleaned the windows, I washed the car. You said you were tired? Well, today I picked up the kids, I changed their diaper, I washed them, and they're already ready for bed. Oh, I wish someone would read a book with me.
What book do you want to read? Let's experience and have a conversation about this book. Can you guess what I'm talking about? Well, the next examples, well, all these examples, are acts of service when a person wishfully says, oh, I wish, or I heard, or I would like someone to do something for me. And another person acknowledges them by doing those things.
Or sometimes you see it in passing, like, dang, my car is messy. And what do they do? They clean your car for them. Those are acts of service. And if you ever feel like, oh my goodness, I just love that I'm being taken care of with little to no begging or pleading. Maybe you're receiving acts of service and going more depth.
Maybe your love language is acts of service.
All this is allowing you to do is to show that even the small things can have big impact on your life. Even when you think,
Oh. I love gifts, or I love when someone talks to me and tell me I'm doing a great job. They really make me happy, but what really takes me so much deeper in my love is when I come and the food is already done, or when I drop my car off on Friday, my husband on Saturday already has washed it, so all I'm doing is getting up on that Monday morning Getting dressed and being prepared for work.
Those are acts of service. My advice for giving and receiving acts of service? Well, hold on. Do you think your primary love language is acts of service? Do you like it when somebody knows what you need because they have listened intently and in passing you said what you needed, and they gave it to you?
Ponder, think, and get back to me.
I love it when people do things to help me.
I love it when someone gives practical help to me. I know someone loves me when he or she helps me. But someone does affect me more than what they say. I know people love me when they do things for me that they don't enjoy doing. I feel love when people, when friends and loved ones help me with job or projects.
Acts of service makes me feel love. I appreciate the many things they, that special people do for me. I really enjoy the feeling when I get, when somebody does acts of service for me. Can you find the similarities? Can you hear? Why people love acts of service.
I feel love when a person helps me with my chores. I like knowing loved ones are concerned enough to help me with my daily tasks. I love it when a person enthusiastically does some tasks that I have requested. Those are examples of acts of service. As a person that has received acts of service. You really are grateful for when they are handy, and they care for you.
Did you know that most men do acts of service? If they're handyman’s, their primary way of giving love is acts of service by washing the car, driving it to go get fixed, or even looking around the house to see what's broken and they fix it. Acts of service is such a powerful thing. That sometimes you forget how important they are until someone stops giving it.
Acts of service is above helping them, other people. It's the way of showing love. It's a way of mowing the dishes, doing the dishes with you. Or getting up in the middle of the night to take care of a little one while letting you get some sleep. Paying a bill before your spouse gets to it. Making breakfast in the morning.
Having clothes washed, folded, and put away. Making their favorite breakfast or treat. Eyeing your favorite work clothes so it's done and ready for when you get up. Helping you out with the yard work. Or one of his chores. Packing the lunch for a day. Those are all acts of service, and when someone gives those to you, appreciate them.
Say thank you, and understand this is how, sometimes, they wanted to be treated. Or other times, it's hard for them to say I love you, but it's easier for them to show you. So, remember, meet a person for where they are, even if it's not the way you receive love. They're doing their best, and if they want to be in a relationship with you, they will choose to learn yours, but they will always come back to the one they're most familiar with, you, and him, or her, or a partner.
I have to decide how to move forward. As a person, my father is a person that gives acts of service. If you say your car's dirty, you can know on a Saturday evening it's going to be washed. If you say, whew, that yard's looking a little rough out there. You can know. It may take him a couple of days. He might break the yard work up in increments, but the yard will be done.
Or, um, this don't look right, uh, my clothes, I need new clothes. Well, it's an act of service for him to give the money to your mother, of course. And y'all go shopping. That is the way he gives love. Or, ooh, I'm hungry. Well, what do you want to eat? Yes. I don't know, surprise me. Well, he knows your favorite food, and if it's not out there, he'll definitely text your mother who's always out and about to go pick up the ingredients to make it for you, or he'll say, what are you wearing tomorrow?
This, this, this, is it on? Don't go out there with no wrinkles. You'll be like, uh, It's, it's suitable. Let me see. This is terrible. Come back later. And you bet your butt it's iron. It's folded. It's ready. Or did you eat for the week? No, I'm just going to pick something up in the cafeteria. Okay, here's 20. I hope that makes it last for the week.
Or did your mom put some money in your account so you can eat this week? Sure. Okay. Or girl, you smell. Have you washed your clothes? No. They're still in the hamper from last week. Um, are you going to wash them? No, I'll do it later. Five minutes later, your clothes in the washer. You're like, thank you Jesus. All that to say, He cares, and He wants you to be at your best and He wants to show how much He loves you.
And, for me, for a long time, I didn't see those moments. I didn't see the way he was literally screaming his love for me. Until I got older. I didn't see even going back to receiving gifts that I got the best of the best. Or when I asked for something, because my mom's love language was gifts, she was able to provide it to me without me even thinking about it.
And I always do those things, even though it wasn't my primary love languages. They both gave me what I needed to have healthy relationships with others. I learned those love languages because that's how they received it. Well, that's how they gifted. And so, I was receiving it so I could now, these weren't things that I had to learn how to give.
I was able to give them easily and that was so powerful for me to understand that yes, it may not be the way I want it to be, but it's their way and I love them wholeheartedly. So, I would accept everything they do for me because that's how I know I'm loved.
Words of affirmation. If we think about the past, that was a learned trait for me. It was learned earlier and probably in my teens when I had a teacher who was very positive and she would always say, try you're doing a really good job today, I, I, I really appreciate you. But thank you. Society as a whole teaches you words of affirmation, well in my culture they did.
You hear you're really smart or you're doing a good job or I'm so proud of you. Or look at you go. I see that you didn't study. I know you may not be where you want to be, but you're getting there. And then, my mom, she flipped one day. And she started giving me words of affirmation a lot stronger. But because she loves gifts, now that I think about it, and so do my dad love acts of service, they started giving me parties for my achievements.
They're like, oh, you passed the um, star. Well, let's throw a party, not just for you, but for your cousins, everybody that passed the star. Let's show it. It was their love that taught me words of affirmation and taught me service and taught me gifts. And I couldn't have been who I am today to know those three powerful things without them.
Yes, they may not be my top ones, but I can honestly say in my childhood. I did learn three out of five and that has made all the difference. So, if you have a person that does ask the service, as a giver of it, ask them, what will make you the happiest? I know this that you've done all these things for me, but I don't know how to serve you.
What would you like today? And if you're like my father, he'll tell you. Put some money in my account.