We decide who we want to be, but we must remember to face our truth and never. lie to ourselves to be successful. The statement fakes it to you make, only work when. you able to reflect on what you have become. Welcome to Chai Beauty, where the host discusses personal insights and visions, focusing on the journey of self-discovery and authenticity. The script delves into the characteristics of the 'Performer' archetype, which is success-oriented, image-conscious, and productivity-driven. It highlights the risk of deceit, both towards oneself and others, in the quest for societal acceptance. Through personal anecdotes, the host emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries, embracing one's true self, and defining success on one's own terms rather than through comparison with others.
Embracing Authenticity: Understanding the Performer Type
In this episode of Chai Beauty, we explore the 'Performer' personality type, focusing on their drive for success and tendency towards deceit. We delve into how Performers often wear masks to project a socially acceptable image, abandoning their true selves. Through personal anecdotes and reflections, the importance of setting boundaries and redefining success is emphasized. The discussion aims to encourage listeners to embrace authenticity, understand their unique strengths, and recognize that true success is a personal and evolving journey.
00:00 Welcome to Chai Beauty
00:39 Understanding the Performer
01:55 The Danger of Deceit
02:56 Self-Acceptance and Boundaries
04:27 Advice for Type 3s
05:31 Personal Reflections and Comparisons
08:33 Defining Success
Episode Transcript
Hi, I'm so happy you're here. Welcome to Chai Beauty, where I get to share my thoughts, my dreams, my aspirations, my visions for the future. And guess what? You get to be along for this journey because we are in this together.
In the previous chapter, we talked about the helper. Now, the performer. Successful oriented, image conscious, Wired for productivity. They are motivated by a need to be or to appear successful and to avoid failure.
Type 3's daily sin is deceit. Three values appeared on over substance. Abandoning their true self to project a false crowd-pleasing image. Three, buys their own performance and deceives themselves into believing they are their own persona.
Do you deceive yourself? Do you put on a mask and decide this is the person I'm going to be so that I can obtain what society wants me to attain? Or do you put on a mask to say, I'm only going to be this for a while so that I can be truly successful? Because if I am the way I am, my authentic self, I will be rejected and looked upon as weak.
Deceit is a dangerous thing. It can lead you to believe something that you never believed about yourself, or you can buy into your own fantasy without really, without really knowing the truth about yourself.
My mask is off and when I look in the mirror, I sometimes deceive myself in saying I'm doing this because society would have biases against me if I wore my hair natural, if I looked a certain way. So, I'm doing this for them when in reality, I'm just afraid to admit that. Sometimes I have to re look at myself in the mirror and say, yes, I'm pretty no matter if I straighten my hair or curl it, I'm pretty if I have these 20 pounds on me or not.
I am my own image and if I can accept myself, then others will surely follow in loving me because I have set the standard for what I will and cannot accept. For myself, is it hard to set boundaries to say, this is the thing that I will not cross so I can stay my authentic self? Yes. Yes, it is. And you will have people that will say that you are selfish and greedy and will never understand the way they talk in a way they do things, and I shouldn't judge them.
But when I look at them, you judge me before I can even open my mouth because I'm not doing what things you do. Is that fair?
When it comes to a three, the advice I give is be healthy. Understand that everyone's achievements are not yours. That you are special. In your own way, being with the three on numerous occasions in my life, when three that never understood how to fail and they chose not to try and in them not trying, they heard people keep saying, you're doing a wonderful job.
Keep it up. You're indispensable. And this made these three feels so successful because they realized if they just did the minimum of what they knew they could do the best, people will always say they did a good job. They weren't willing to try something new. But when they looked at me as a seven, who failed a great deal, but was very knowledgeable about the topics and the things we did because I had already done it and made the wrong choice or the right choice.
They always told me that I was doing too much or that I needed to calm down. Like, why do you have to be the one that presents? I can present. I'm great. And before I knew it, this person made me feel that I had to compete. In reality, I just loved what I was doing. And I deceived myself for a little bit and saying, I couldn't hang out with this person, or I couldn't be in the same room with this person because I felt that we were in this ongoing battle of who could do what better.
And then I woke up and said, I could never do what that person do. I'm not that great in that skill, but I can practice. Will I be, ever be as good as them? Who knows?
My stubbornness to complete a test sometimes shows that I kind of compete with myself. That way it's not really a failure to me. I guess that's my deceit. Me saying that I won't compare myself. Because I already know I can't do it. But as well as realizing that I probably couldn't do it, just not like them.
It'll be my own style. It doesn't make it wrong. It just means my done is different than your done. When you say it's complete, I can find things because of my different thoughts and beliefs. and make you question things just as much as if I did something and I told you it was done and you'd be like, well, you could do this and this.
So, my advice to the performer, be on stage and perform, but set your boundaries, set the people who are invited to look upon you on the stage, the people that are there to support you and protect your stage. Because you don't want to look around and realize that you never could be your authentic self because you allowed so many people to come and see you.
And you perform for them when you realize all you needed was a few to help you be successful. And success is whatever you think of. It's not what I think of. It's not, I couldn't even measure your success. Ironically, my A great source told me one time that they measured my success when they helped me grow as a person that could pay their bills, live on their own, and be happy.
Well, if I listen to that advice, I'm successful. And once I made it to that point, I realized I competed to make sure that person understood that. I could do those things. And now that I'm here, I'm trying to figure out what does my next success look like? Because it will be different than that person told me.
And that will be a challenge all itself.
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