Did you know that opportunities comes through the relationship that you already are intentional with? The script introduces Chai Beauty and emphasizes the speaker's journey of self-discovery, relationship building, and boundary development. It highlights the importance of functioning appropriately in different life phases and learning from past mistakes. The speaker shares personal experiences, discusses the significance of setting healthy boundaries, and encourages the audience to be aware of their actions and their alignment with personal and spiritual goals. The script also promotes the speaker's website, encouraging the audience to join the community for further growth and support. This season, we are talking about boundaries with two good books. They are Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life Paperback – October 3, 2017 by Henry Cloud (Author), John Townsend (Author) and Boundaries Workbook: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life Paperback – February 27, 2018 by Henry Cloud (Author), John Townsend (Author).
Navigating Functional and Relational Boundaries with Chai Beauty
Join Chai Beauty as the host shares personal insights and experiences about understanding functional and relational boundary issues. Delve into topics of boundary development, relationship building, and the importance of setting healthy boundaries. The host emphasizes learning from past mistakes, the value of mentorship, and the significance of knowing when to ask for help. Additionally, there are discussions around self-introduction across different life stages, the impact of seasons in life, and practical tips for dealing with boundary injuries and personal insecurities. The episode ends with a heartfelt encouragement to the listeners, acknowledging their progress and strength in their journey towards better self-understanding and growth.
00:00 Welcome to Chai Beauty
00:38 Understanding Functional and Relational Boundaries
01:48 The Journey of Entrepreneurship
04:37 Navigating Life's Challenges
09:05 The Importance of Setting Boundaries
09:58 Reintroducing Yourself Through Life's Changes
11:18 Final Thoughts and Community Engagement
Hi, I'm so happy you're here. Welcome to Chai Beauty, where I get to share my thoughts, my dreams, my aspirations, my visions for the future. And guess what? You get to be along for this journey because we are in this together.
So we are at the last part and it's a multitude of things so it talks about functioning and relationship boundaries issues as well as boundary development and what does that look like And why you have a faulty setting but when it comes to functional It's doing the wrong thing at the wrong timeand it's It's just that you missed a mark, and it's okay.
Like, I wanna say as a functional person that have missed a mark multiple times because you're living, you learn, it's okay. Um, the relationship I have latelycause life has been a little slow for mehave actually done what I needed to do and sat at somebody's feet and learned from them and given me opportunity.
And you're probably saying what does that mean? Well, um, in this season, um, I heard this from Tim Ross, his podcast, where he says sometimes him and Mike talk about regular routines, give you opportunity. And so my relationship in this season, um, I've always wanted to be an entrepreneur. Like I always wanted to, do my own business.
I just never understood what my skill set was. I'm still learning that if I'm honest with you. Um, I have multiple degrees. So I have a human resource degree. I have an entrepreneurship degree and then I got my master's in project management and I'm always just career development because that's like my passion, developing people and just having a healthy culture andBecause I've always wanted that, having a relationship with my friends and stuff, I'm able to talk through things, learn about new experiences, but also I have a friend that is an entrepreneur who does freelancing and she's wonderful and she started a class for people and who want to do entrepreneurship and I would never have known about this class, um, if I hadn't built a relationship with her.
I just said hi to her to get an opportunity because she didn't. I did market this class, she did it with her inner circle of people that she know that were trying to work on a business. And even in this season that it's hard and I'm scared, having a relationship with her has made it easier that I want to do what I know I'm supposed to do in Jesus, but also, um, I'm comfortable asking questions and saying like, Hey, can you help me with this?
Or like, I'm not understanding this section. And because we have built a relationship, we're able to do that. But if I was functional, I would not be able to do her class. I would have been doing the wrong thing at the wrong time. So I ask you, what are you now doing wrong at the wrong time?
And you're probably saying, I haven't done anything wrong at the wrong time, okay? Maybe in the past, you did something wrong at the wrong time and when you think about it, you could have served that season differently, but because you were in the right relations with people. And didn't take the time and you didn't set good boundaries and you let some of that bad in or you've invoided something or you've just been confrontational, aggressive, controller, all these different things that you haven't set good boundaries that you just missed the mark and I'm here to say like it's okay because even when you're missing the mark God knows and he's going to help you align.
He just wants you to pay attention to it and be aware of it. And, I think about my busy seasons and when I was in the wrong time, um, at a job, right? I just was weary. Like, I was just really upset with this job. I didn't like it. It was a, like, it literally was a job. It was just to pay the bills. Like, I did not want to do this job.
I did not feel like it was forever. And, if it was, I was, like, looking at the time. I was always looking at the internal, um, internal page trying to figure out like, well, how's the quickest way I can move out and switch a different, different department or do something different here. Cause I want to be here ear ish.
I just don't want to do this. Right. And for me,that looked like me coming home being numb. That looked like me not hearing from God when he told me like, let it go or It's going to work out you just need to wait Or not even knowing what he was saying because the phone line that I hear him from was just static Because I had put it on mute And me saying oh god, just not talking to me this season.
He's like he is I just put him on mute andThat cost Me paying, because I say everything you do is going to cost something. You just want to make sure that you have a good cost. Or you have a delayed, I don't even think it's a bad cost, I just think you have a delayed gratification for it because it eventually all makes sense.
And it's okay that you were busy in that season. It's okay that you got it right in another season and you didn't get it right in You learn from failure. And I don't even think failure is actually what failure is. Failure is actually, I believe, failure is just a pause in life to say, Hey,you may not be great right now.
You may be not understanding everything that's happening in this situation. You may just not be in the right place because you haven't let it go. And for me, wrong time.and wrong thing, um, has led me to really ask myself some difficult questions and say, why did I hold on when I was supposed to? Why did itfeel like I was losing everything, but I knew in my faith that I was going to gain so much more.
Why did it look like Like, Ihad to be greedy and I had to have gluttony and say, this is mine's, mine's, mine's. When in reality, none of this I own because when you finally close your eyes, you're taking nothing with you and people are like, well, I left a legacy. Well, I've seen a lot of business that are mom and pop shots and when the parent dies, so does the shop go.
So there's some stuff that like, you think you left a legacy to. And it's not there. When you go, so you spend all this time, and it's not there. Do I believe a legacy is important? Absolutely. You want to give people a chance. You want to be able to let some people that were meant to be creatives, be creatives.
Through our ancestors before. I always say that I, and my ancestors wildest dreams. They wish, back in the day, that they could have an opportunity just to try something. Thank you.I'm three generations from sharecropping. I'm two generations from poverty. I'm one generation from paycheck to paycheck.
Sometimes we, we still be paycheck to paycheck. We be like, Jesus, we on your bank account. Cause life is hard. Life, like, life is like a It comes, but even in those moments, You want to try to be complete. You want to understand what is next. You want to understand that when is it, when are you doing the wrong thing?
And are you aware of when you're doing the wrong thing? And so that's what that section was on. And in the next section, it talks about uh, develop, um, boundaries development. And I really encourage you to read this section because it gives you some prayer.It talks about bonding and the foundation of, uh, boundary building.
And it tells you, it gives you different scriptures. It talks about your insecurities. It talks about your individuality. It talks about separation and individuality. It talks about boundary injuries, when things go wrong. Withdrawals from boundary. What does health hostility mean? What does lack of limits look like?
What does even over control look like? What does inconsistent limits look like? What does trauma look like? Which is one I had to deal with, an inconsistency I had to deal with. What does our own character traits, like, who are you? And it's okay to have to reintroduce yourself. I say at 27, I've reintroduced myself three times.
I introduced myself in high school. I reintroduced myself in college. I reintroduced myself after college and world event hit me. I introduced myself this year at 27 because a major accident has happened in my life that it, it changed my entire course of life. And sometimes I'm not self sufficient.
Sometimes I have to ask for help now. Um,And even so, like, I even have to, like, have temporary disability. So, what does all this look like? And what does those new boundaries look like? What does it look like when somebody is hostile towards you? What does it look likewhen your limits are beingpushed?
What does it look like to be over controlled? And write down your gut reaction to it, so that you can, um, If you want to go to therapy and ask them like, Hey, is this a normal response?Uh, and if it's not, what's the next, what is a coping mechanism or what is the next, how should I respond? What's the best way to articulate?
This is, this is what you said to me and this is how I feel because we are getting better. We just need to know the foundation of boundaries and where they're developing and what are functional and relational boundaries. Thanks. Because you are such, you are such a star. You are such a, I don't, I can't even say, you just have a bright light ahead of you.
And you are working so hard to just be better. And you are, even with the little hiccups and doing things at the wrong time, even being a busy body, like, to avoid some stuff. You're now taking the time to just stop and really think about who you want to be next.
Hello, my friend. Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to this pod. Also the past pods and all the ones you anticipate in the future. I've loved your comments and your reviews on Spotify. And as we continue to grow, I continue to think of other ideas. So currently I'm investing in my website. So visit www.chaibeauty. org. There's no space. And you can see how I'm extending our community. Together. Because we are a family. So thank you.