Chai_Beauty

Season 3 E5_ Ten Law of Boundaries

Episode Summary

You can claim power; by stating you are powerless in area. The speaker from Chai Beauty welcomes the audience to join in exploring personal thoughts, dreams, and future visions. The main theme revolves around the 'Ten Laws of Boundaries,' including laws such as Sowing and Reaping, Responsibility, Power, Respect, Motivation, Evaluation, Proactivity, Envy, Activity, and Exposure. These laws aim to guide individuals towards understanding and achieving personal freedom and authenticity. The speaker emphasizes self-awareness, the importance of seeking help, and the role of wisdom in navigating life's challenges. The script also highlights the significance of mental and emotional health, sharing personal experiences with depression and the journey toward finding balance. The speaker encourages continuous learning and growth and expresses gratitude for the community's support and engagement. This season, we are talking about boundaries with two good books. They are Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life Paperback – October 3, 2017 by Henry Cloud (Author), John Townsend (Author) and Boundaries Workbook: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life Paperback – February 27, 2018 by Henry Cloud (Author), John Townsend (Author).

Episode Notes

Exploring the Ten Laws of Boundaries and the Path to Freedom

In this episode of Chai Beauty, the host delves into the concepts presented in chapter five of a book titled 'The Ten Laws of Boundaries'. The ten laws discussed include: The Law of Sowing and Reaping, The Law of Responsibility, The Law of Power, The Law of Respect, The Law of Motivation, The Law of Evaluation, The Law of Proactivity, The Law of Envy, The Law of Activity, and The Law of Exposure. The host reflects on the importance of these laws in achieving personal freedom and authenticity, sharing personal experiences and the challenges faced in understanding one's powerlessness. They discuss mental health, the importance of seeking help, and the ongoing journey to becoming the best version of oneself. The episode concludes with a heartfelt appreciation for listeners and an invitation to explore further resources on the Chai Beauty website.

 

00:00 Welcome to Chai Beauty

00:38 The Ten Laws of Boundaries

01:30 Understanding Freedom and Responsibility

03:49 The Importance of Exposure

04:04 Personal Journey and Mental Health

07:37 Seeking Help and Support

08:25 Navigating Life's Challenges

10:58 Final Thoughts and Gratitude

Episode Transcription

 Hi,  I'm so happy you're here.  Welcome to Chai Beauty,  where I get to share my thoughts, my dreams, my aspirations, my visions for the future. And guess what?  You get to be along for this journey because we are in this together. 

 

So as we continue to chapterFive in your book, it's called the Ten Laws of Boundaries. And the first law is the Law of Sowing and Reaping.The second law is the Law of Responsibility.  Law three is the Number of Power.  Law four is the Law of Respect.  Law five is the Law of Motivation. Thank you.  Law six is the law of evaluation. 

 

Law seven is the law of proactivity.  Law eight is the law of envy.  Law nine is the law of activity.  And finally, law 10 is the law of exposure. And overall, when I think about these laws, they are leading up to the high level of wanting to be free.  And understanding that each law represents something. Um, and you have to think about what does it look like for you to be free and walk into your authentic self. 

 

Is it  understanding that you have a responsibility to your neighbor and to yourself? Or have you not been reaping your consequences for things you've been sowing into there? Is it because somebody's interfering and they have, um, boundaries less ness?  I think that's the word. Um, where they're not respecting your boundaries and they don't want you to be hurt.

 

So they interrupt so you never reap your irresponsible behavior.  Is it the law of power where you're trying to be all over controlling? Or maybe you haven't even admit that overall as human beings, we are all powerless and we haven't confessed and we haven't repented about what, why we're so powerless.

 

Peace.  And understanding that we are powerless gives us a certain type of freedom. Because we know that we can't do anything without God. Um, because at the end of the day, God died for us. And sometimes in this book, it talks about praying and saying, God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

 

And I think wisdom is ultimately the key. The best thing you can ask for because we are all ignorant and we're just doing the best that we can we're learning from our parents We're learning from society. We're learning certain social norms just through observation But however, if we go to a different country, it's all different.

 

So I ask you what are you ignorant about? What are you trying to be free of whatever you trying to do next in your life? What are you trying to become?  ultimately 

 

I believe that the law of exposure is very important. Without exposure, we don't  know what we don't know. We can't respect anything. We can't be proactive. We can't even ask for help.  Because we just don't know and I've learned in  this year that I didn't know a lot at 27 I thought like I've been through so much maybe I have like at least 10 percent of what I know  and  the truth is I only have 3 percent and I'm powerless that I can't control these things so yes, I I have depression and I'm looking for help and I'm getting the help and I'm on a medication and I go to a counselor because I just need an outlook to talk about what I'm dealing with so that when I come home I can have peace and I can sleep and I can still be proactive because when you don't have the medication or the neuros, um, sessions to re change your brain, um, you end up. 

 

Just sitting and being lazy. And God tells us that like, well, yes, we need to care for those that are, um, timid and shy. We need to care and we need to have patience because we don't know what other people are dealing with. But at the end of the day, like we all are trying to do our best. We all are trying to get to that freedom and also understanding that you are enough can be really challenging. 

 

Um, I think ultimately when I read this, that part about freedom really spoke to me because that's where this season I've heard freedom, freedom, freedom and I'm trying to  grasp what does freedom look like for me.  Um, I am a person that  Had a dog, had to put it in a foster, um, home and eventually give it away because I, I couldn't handle the responsibility of an animal.

 

Um, due to, um, a life in a vet.  Um, as I told you like, uh, prior, it caused me to have short term and long term disability and still trying to figure out what does my new normal look like. It also taught me that, Some people don't, some people don't have grace for disability. So like I walk slower than people.

 

So some people have like tried to edge me out the way. Um, but that made me more conscious of other people, I think  without exposure or not without exposure and second, without being in that position. You don't have that patient for other people. Like, I've always, like, when I've seen somebody with a disability, just good old Southern hospitality.

 

Like, you open the door for it, you ask them, do you need help? Um, yes, they can do it, but sometimes they be tired, and they be like, help me. Um,  and so, I've always had that, but,  I've, my heart has softened  for the vulnerable community. Um, my heart has softened for physical therapy and learning about health and learning about not only the physical health, but the emotional part that goes into it, because for a while I thought like, Hey, I'm, I'm so caught up in like physical health.

 

Um, I can put off that mental health, but in reality they, you know, They are always teetering left to right, um, and it caused me to spiral for a little bit. It caused me not to,it caused me to see the signs, but be like, I've held on this much, I can hold on a little longer, until I couldn't hold on anymore. 

 

And um, luckily I had just a great friend.  Um, primary care that was like, Hey, I think you should see a psychiatrist. I think we need to look into some things. I think we just need to make sure that you're doing the best that you can do. Um, and also let's recommend,  um,  Some places you can go to talk to with your insurance.

 

And I was truly grateful for her just listening and saying, Hey, you are seen, you are known, and you're a value, and we're going to get you the help that you need. And also being like, if there is someone I referred to you to, and they're not giving you the best explanation, feel free to like come back to me, and we can talk through whatever treatment plan that they have for you. 

 

Because everything isn't easy. I would say walking in freedom is not easy. And sometimes you stumble, you fall, you hit a blockade, you hit an obstacle that you never even knew about, or you thought everybody had this obstacle.  And sometimes you just find new tricks.  And in that, in, in that cycle of life, like, we all go through something.

 

We all deal with certain things. We all, like, at some point,  Something's gonna happen with your career, whether it's a good thing or a bad thing.  You can get laid off, you can get fired, you can get put on a pip, you can get a manager you don't like. You're gonna struggle in a season. Um, but that shouldn'thold you back.

 

That shouldn't make you feel like you don't know what's happening next. You should just be patient and think about  The good times to hold you over, but also evaluate everything around you to figure out what is next for you.  Because I can promise you, learning the principles, the 10 principles, really can put things in perspective that you can name, you can put a name to what you're experiencing.

 

You can put a name to what you're seeing and be like, oh, I know now how to handle this.  Um, and that just comes with just trying, as I'm going to continue to say in this, uh,  season, season three, and maybe more, you're just becoming, and it's okay to just, to be coming. Um, but overall,  everyone is proud of you,  andyou just taking the initiative to learnis just as important as you saying out loud. 

 

Yes, I'm powerless. Yes, I can't do this. Yes, I need help. Yes, I need the resources. Yes, I don't have the money for the resources. Or yes, I do have the money for resources, but I really didn't like that resource you gave me this time. Can we try something new?  Because none of us can read your mind.  None of us can experience what you're experiencing.

 

None of us can grow for you.But as long as you communicate,we definitely can help you.  And so that's all anybody truly wants to do, is to help you be the best version of you. 

 

Hello, my friend. Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to this pod. Also the past pods and all the ones you anticipate in the future. I've loved your comments and your reviews on Spotify. And as we continue to grow, I continue to think of other ideas. So currently I'm investing in my website. So visit www.chaibeauty. org. There's no space. And you can see how I'm extending our community together. Because we Our family. So thank you.