You have the foundation to change and only you can change. In this episode of Chai Beauty, the host introduces a detailed discussion on boundaries, segmented into three parts. It begins by addressing the foundational aspects and myths about boundaries, moves on to exploring boundary conflicts in various relationships and contexts, and concludes with developing healthy boundaries. The host emphasizes personal growth, understanding and recognizing lack of boundaries, and provides a chapter-by-chapter breakdown of a recommended book on the subject. The episode encourages self-reflection, reading the book chapters for deeper understanding, and integrating these principles into one's life. This season, we are talking about boundaries with two good books. They are Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life Paperback – October 3, 2017 by Henry Cloud (Author), John Townsend (Author) and Boundaries Workbook: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life Paperback – February 27, 2018 by Henry Cloud (Author), John Townsend (Author).
Understanding Boundaries: Explored in Depth
In this episode of Chai Beauty, the host delves into the concepts of boundaries, breaking them down into three parts. She covers foundational aspects, myths, boundary conflicts across various relationships (friends, family, work, digital age, etc.), and discusses chapters 7 through 14 of a recommended book on boundaries. The host emphasizes the importance of self-work and healthy boundaries, offering guidance on measuring success with boundaries through practical steps. Additionally, she encourages listeners to read chapters 7 through 17 of the book for a deeper understanding. The episode closes with appreciation for the community and an invitation to further connect via the Chai Beauty website.
00:00 Welcome to Chai Beauty
00:38 Introduction to Boundaries
01:05 Understanding Boundary Conflicts
01:47 Healthy Boundaries and Self-Work
04:30 Steps to Measure Success with Boundaries
06:20 The Importance of Alignment
07:13 Encouragement and Final Thoughts
09:02 Community and Future Plans
Hi, I'm so happy you're here. Welcome to Chai Beauty, where I get to share my thoughts, my dreams, my aspirations, my visions for the future. And guess what? You get to be along for this journey because we are in this together.
And so in this next episode, it's going to be a little different because Boundaries is set up in three parts and as we talked about the foundations of Boundaries, what are Boundaries, the myths of Boundaries, we then move to part two where it kind of breaks it down in categories if I'm honest with you.
It talks about, um,Boundary conflict. And so it goes into several different ways. So you can see boundaries in your friends, your family, your spouse, your children at work, the digital age, yourself. And so I personally just, um, and for this book, you really have to read it for yourself and you're probably like, Chai.
I'm like, yeah, you really do because like chapter 7 through, um, 14 really talks about Pacifics and like, um, breaks it down in a sense that it's very, yeah. easy to understand and how you can see yourself in this. It kind of gives you examples, but it leads it into like scripture, because part three is about, um, healthy boundaries and what are healthy boundaries.
And I personally think that if you really are like on this journey of boundaries, buy this book, read it, And enjoy part two and understanding what are like, what does boundaries look like and what not, not, not even what boundaries look like, but what are ways you see yourself or you see your family friends and whatever you're going through in these lack of boundaries.
Because if you can't identify yourself in these lack of boundaries, then what are we working on? What are we trying to remove ourself from? What have we not gotten wisdom on to move forward?
So that's what I have to say about Part 2, Chapters, um, I think I said 7 through 14.
So, as we wrap up, there is a second section, uh, which is part three, and it's developing healthy boundaries. It talks about resistance to boundaries, so it continues to build upon part one, um, but we're able to see those in a different light, and then like, talk about forgiveness again, talking about anger.
And so, I didn't want to continue to do it. Um, you're probably like Chai, why didn't you just like do the rest of chapter 7 through 15 because I was like This is really self work. And I think once you have the boundary book and you have um the timeAlso, I don't have children. So there's a part about this about children And I was like, I'm not there yet.
Um, but I do have like nieces and nephews and cousins that are really young that I can implement this on. And so that gave me a good light. But I was like, I will be re repeating what I've said in the last six episodes, not including this one. And I said, these are just my personal experiences. And I did not want to be repetitive.
I will be. As you continue to read, you will get to chapter 16, which is how to measure success with boundaries. And I really like that because it breaks it down into 10 steps. So step one is to resentment or early warning signs. So it talking about that anger, it talks about step two, a change of taste becoming drawn to boundary, uh, to boundaries and lovers.
So those healthy relationships. Step three is join, joining the family. Step four, treasuring our treasure. Step five, practicing baby nose.Step six, stepping in, uh, rejoicing in the guilty feelings. And step seven, practicing grown up nose. Step eight, rejoicing in the absence of guilty feelings. Step nine, loving the boundaries of others.
Step 10, freeing our nos and our yeses. Step 11, mature boundaries, value driven gold settings. And then it goes until as we wraps it back up to like how in the first In this chapter we saw a li a day in the life with boundarylessness. I think that's how you say it. And so then it just goes back to that story and it talks about a day in the life with boundaries.
And so that's where we all want to get to at some point. We want to get to a season of a day in the life of boundaries where we're able to utilize those 10 steps and truly implement them in a way that they feel normal to us and the people around us that are in alignment with us can agree with us. And you're probably like, Chai, you say a lot about agreement and alignment.
I think alignment is very important because if you don't have the right people in your life for that season, um, sometimes this can be useless and detrimental to yourself. Sometimes you can get into a season of depression, a season of anxiety because the right people aren't with you.But it's, it's, it's, it's, it's.
It's The goodness about it is that when you realize you're not with the right people, you're not in alignment, and things are just going crazy, you have an opportunity to say, Jesus help me. You have an opportunity to say, I'm lost, I need to understand the difference between who's with me and who's for me, and I need, you don't even have to get rid of those people, but let me put them in the right categories in my life.
As long as they're not toxic and abusive. And so I encourage you to read the Boundary Book. I encourage you to read chapters, um, part 2 and part 3, because it really is vital information. Um, so chapter 7 through chapter 17 really does help you. Um, and they are just basically, they basically started with, um, And hi, hi.
a very high level version of boundaries and then which are the ones that I really talked about from 1 through 6 and then 7 through 14 gives you like Attention to details on the same thing, but you're going further in And you're able to talk about anger when it has to do with your friends family and work Is how they did it and I think it's just wonderful You I think it's amazing.
Uh, but for me in this season of doing this podcast, um, it's not meant for me to read chapter 7 through 17 on this pod. I may come back to it. I don't know yet. Um, but if you are I can't do all the work for you. Like in the book it says I can't grow for you and if I can't grow for you that means you have to grow for yourself.
And so the way I'm encouraging you to grow for yourself is to buy this book and read chapters 7 through 17. I love you, I appreciate you, and you got this.
Hello my friend. Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to this pod. Also, the pass pods and all the ones you. I've loved your comments and your reviews on Spotify. And as we continue to grow, I continue to think of other ideas. So currently, I'm investing in my website. So visit www. chaibeauty.org. There's no space. And you can see how I'm extending our community together. Because we are a family. So thank you.