Chai_Beauty

When You Pray – Faith, Growth, and Letting Go

Episode Summary

In this heartfelt kickoff to Season 4, I share my journey through the Bible study When You Pray—a book I started in 2022, put down, and didn’t finish until 2025. Along the way, I discovered not only new ways to pray, but also the toxic traits and hidden habits God was asking me to surrender. From over-functioning in relationships to learning how to receive love without “earning” it, I open up about the challenges, breakthroughs, and faith lessons that shaped me. This episode isn’t just about prayer—it’s about vulnerability, obedience, and letting God mold your heart. I invite you to reflect on your own toxic traits, growth moves, and prayer life, and to join me in asking: What are you praying for this season?

Episode Notes

Episode Chapters – Season 4: When You Pray

00:00 – Welcome to Chai Beauty
00:20 – Introduction to When You Pray
01:06 – Deep Dive into the Book
02:27 – Personal Reflections and Insights
03:48 – Toxic Traits & Growth Moves
06:14 – Applying Lessons from the Book
09:14 – Final Thoughts & Encouragement
11:56 – Thank You & Future Plans

Episode Transcription

 Hi, I'm so happy you're here. Welcome to Chai Beauty, where I get to share my thoughts, my dreams, my aspirations, my visions for the future. And guess what? You get to be along for this journey because we are in this together.

So this is season four and in season four, I put up the book when you Pray, so I have to have a vulnerable moment. I actually purchased this book on Amazon in 2022. I didn't start reading this book until 2024. I didn't finish the book until 2025. It's deep. There are six authors in this book. There's Kelly, Jackie, Jen, Jennifer, Jade, and Kirsten.

They were required so much from me in this book that I had to take a break because at one point I was just like, yeah, I'm not ready to, ignorance is bliss. And one of the things I wanna read to you is in this book it says. At the back it says, prayer is a gift, an invitation to talk with God. Prayer also can be a challenge.

Do you have trouble thinking of words to say? Fear. Some emotions are too intense to express to God or reach the end of the day only to realize you haven't prayed at all. You're not alone. Thankfully, in God's word, we encounter many voices who teach us how to pray in this session, study. Beloved Bible teachers, Kelly Mitt, Jackie Hill Perry, Jen Wickens, Jennifer Ro Child Jade Edwards and Kirsten and McLennan will help study, will help you study prayer in the Bible that can inspire your own.

You'll find that you, when you pray. Your faith is strengthened and your heart is united with God. And when I read the back, I was like, absolutely. I wanna be united with God. I forgot about the heart part. I was like, I definitely have strength. But this book molded me and helped me. Strength truly strengthened my faith, so that's why I chose this book.

But it also challenged me, which there were some things I just wasn't ready to really dive deep into. And in this book, when you're diving deep, the first thing they asked you to do is to go to Luke. And Luke is so different because it tells you what Jesus said on how to pray. It says, Jesus said, this is how you should pray. Father, may your name be kept holy. May your kingdom come soon. Give us each day the food we need and forgive us of our sins. As we forgive those who sin against us and don't let us yield to temptation.So I have to ask you, are you ready to learn? Are you ready to take a step until when you pray.

And I always use so because it's a good transition for me. As I did when you prayed. I actually thought about a late night that I had, and I was just as normal Moderne people do. I was on Cat, GGBT, and I said, GT I blank, submitted so much stuff with you. What are my toxic traits? Because I don't know what I don't know, and I feel like everything's a resource and I have the Bible and I am, and I just want questions.

Not that you'll provide answers, but I do know that you can gimme insight into what I need to work on. And so the first thing Chet said is over function. In relationships, you give too much, too early emotional, mentally, even spiritually. You communicate fast, you follow up, you soften your knees so the connection doesn't break.

But then it says, here's a growth loop. Let people match you, not just receive you. The second one is you overthink or you pre re pre rejecting what it looks like. You analyze, text, overeat, silence, or emotionally distancing yourself as protection because when you're ghosted overlooked, because when you're ghosted, overlooked or misunderstand, it impacts you, but your growth moves.

Let yourself be present, not prematurely protecting. The second one is slow to trust with your heart, not your head. What it looks like. You're kind, warm and friendly, but you're deep vulnerable takes time. You can talk about life, God, your growth, but letting someone see your softness scares you more than you'll admit your growth move.

Trust in layers and not walls. And with layers, they're fluid. They're like the ocean. They're like an onion. You just tilt them back and they never come back. The fourth one is what it looks like a savior. Your energy, your track, or you feel drawn to people who need you, help you healing direction, emotion, spirit, or even professional.

You, the gross movement. You're allowed to be loved without being useful. Hyper independence. What it looks like you're so used to doing life on your own, professional, financially emotional, that letting someone support you feels unnatural, unsafe, your growth move. Receiving is not weakness. It's intimacy and emotion when you are praying, healing and the hidden habits that block connection even when your heart is not right.

When you pray is when isn't just about, when you say to God, it's about what you are willing to surrender. Sometimes the things we need to surrender are your toxic traits. For me, it's the five. So I asked you in this season, how are you praying and getting rid of your toxic traits? It's not easy. It took time.

It took me two years to be able to even video what I'm doing to share these vulnerables with you. And as I read this book, there was some highs and there were some lows, and I encourage you to purchase the book and read the book, but I can say that it made me a stronger person. I have more grace.

I can sit with people. I read Isaiah job and Gideon in this season. I use Isaiah because he honestly stood up and said, choose me God, and I wanna be in the back of the classroom with my snacks. So I was like, I don't know how that's gonna work, but. I'm going to be obedient and say yes and do it to the best of my ability and do it in excellent.

And when you do anything in excellent, sometimes you have to financially give, put out so much before you see it. And so that was hard for me but I surrendered. The second thing was, as I read this book, I shared the knowledge with my friends. So like the questions that they asked me, I share with them and I pray with them as I gotten closer to God in this book, because if it's communal, then I want to do it right.

I want, I wanna boast about my God. But I wouldn't know that if I hadn't read this book, I wouldn't know that. There are different ways to pray. There's different meanings to prayers, like we talk about the emotional part of happiness, sadness, and stuff, but that also ties into prayer. And even as currently, I'm laying across my bed recording this, it took a certain level of.

Oh God, you got me for me to do this because I was like, oh, I am comfortable talking about boundaries. I'm comfort comfortable talking about five love languages. Oh, I love the Enneagram, so why can't I do those things? God, why does this have to be so different? Why do I have to talk about when you pray in this way?

And also put it in my podcast? And he said, do you not wanna glorify me? Do you not want this assignment that I've given you? And I said, Ooh, I do. Then he said, then show people how you pray and show them how you communicate. Ask them questions. And if I be honest you're gonna hear it again in my second episode.

But I'm actually re-recording this because the first one didn't record. Now I thought that one was a bomb and I actually don't remember everything I said, but it's all in God's will. What else? I think. As you make determine what your toxic traits are and your growth moves, try to frame them in a mindset of like, how does this glorify God?

How can I be a better servant to people? I am learning that for me to be a better servant means I actually have to be quiet like. I can't say the first thing that comes to my mind, or I can't say I have the answers. I actually have to say, how can I support you in this season? Or, what can I pray for in this season?

Or sometimes you just listen to the rant and you are taking notes on your phone about what they said in rant, so you could take it back to Jesus on their behalf.

Also, knowing that. And your toughest season, you're not even praying for yourself, you're praying for somebody else, you're interceding for somebody else, and then God calls you two seasons that you don't even comprehend. So you have to lean on him because you're like, oh, I'm in this season. Jesus. So since I'm in this season, let me do what I know best, and that is too.

Listen to you put on an armor of praise and just know that I don't mind waiting on you and that you're gonna turn it around and it can be crazy. But I'm reminded of a song that says I'm just talking to Jesus. And he, and the intro is I know my grandma was praying and it looked like mumbling to me.

But what she said, 'cause I'm paraphrasing, she said, this type of prayer saved my life. I know without a shout of doubt that I'm here because of people's prayers. I'm here because of people's anointing, and if they did this for me, if I'm my ancestors' prayers, then the best generational wealth I can give the next generation is prayer for them.

Hoping that they'll be able to talk to Jesus the way I talk to Jesus and love Jesus the way I love Jesus, but even stronger. So I asked you, what are you praying for this season? Why did you choose this podcast to even listen to?

Hello, my friend. Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to this pod. Also, the past pods and all the ones you anticipate in the future. I've loved your comments and your reviews on Spotify, and as we continue to grow, I continue to think of other ideas. So currently I'm investing in my website, so visit ww dot chi beauty.org.

There's no space, and you can see how I'm extending our community together because we are a family. So thank you.