In this episode, I share how my understanding of prayer has shifted through the When You Pray Bible study. What started as spontaneous conversations with God became a deeper practice of gratitude, surrender, and trust. I talk about laying burdens at the altar, learning to leave them there, and why vulnerability in prayer matters—even when it feels uncomfortable to share publicly. We’ll walk through Luke 11’s prayer, the lessons I’ve learned about consistency and obedience, and how prayer not only changes us, but also strengthens our love for others. This is a candid, faith-filled conversation about letting God meet you in your frustration, endurance, and growth.
In this episode of Chai Beauty, I open up about what prayer really means to me, how my understanding has changed through the When You Pray Bible study, and why God is asking me to bring my private conversations with Him into a public space.
We’ll explore:
💬Question for You:
What is prayer to you, and how has it changed your life? Share in the comments—I’d love to pray with you.
Hi, I'm so happy you're here. Welcome to Chai Beauty, where I get to share my thoughts, my dreams, my aspirations, my visions for the future. And guess what? You get to be along for this journey because we are in this together.
So I am in this season where I have to think about when you pray and why is it so significant, and one of the questions they ask us is. How do you pray? And for me, I was like, oh, that's easy. I do it spontaneously. It's something I normally do. Um, but this session goes a step further and say, no, what does even prayer is?
I said, oh, that's easy. Prayer is communication. Um. And, and that they took it a step further and they talk about Luke 11. So they say, Jesus said that this is how you should pray. Father, may your name be kept holy. May your kingdom come. Give us each day the food we need and forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.
And don't let us yield to temptation. And. Thinking about the scripture, I said, Jesus, I am tempted every day I wake up. I am what you said, Jesus evil. And because I am evil, I want you to forgive me of my sins. And the temptation that I don't even know is a temptation due to lack of ignorance and not reading my book and not learning what these distractions are, but also.
Thank you for giving me food. Thank you for allowing me to never miss a meal. Thank you for coming at the final hour, and always just thank you for providing a resource because you're the source and it may not come the way I want it to come, but it will come also. Can I be honest with you, I'm recording this a second time.
Uh, I started at eight and I was on episode three and I, something just told me to go back and basically episode one and episode two were not, um, record. Like for some reason they disappeared. And so I have to record the whole thing kind of salty, but. That guy allowed me to keep my memory fresh, that I could talk about this ep, episode two again, and I can make it better than the first time.
Uh, 'cause I was a little rusty. Now I'm good. But in this, that taught me how much do I love the Lord? Can I be consistent? Can my micro decisions make big outcomes? Can I have a conversation with the Lord during this time, even though I'm a little frustrated because I have to redo what I just did. So I asked you, what is prayer to you?
And I wanted to be honest about where I was and what prayer meant to me and what was happening in real time with my frustrations. Because if prayer is communal and the Lord. Is such a gracious God. Um, I was struggling with like, how was I gonna do this season because it's very different. Number one, I'm nervous and I'm scared, and I have to now talk about Jesus, that what I do in private, I have to bring public and I don't want people to feel like prayer is my gimmick or that I am doing this not out of.
Obligation and assignment to God, but out of a trend because culture has made Chris being Christianity popular and there are people that are praying online and blessing people, but it's really for show. There's no power. But when what I'm learning, even recording the second part is prayer to me allows me to be vulnerable.
In moments, I can't be vulnerable with my friends family, and I feel like I, like nobody gets it. But also prayer to me is in the beginning, it's chaos, it's confusion, which God says he doesn't. Agree with those methods and he provides clarity and other ways God provides clarity is when I'm talking about a friend and I'm talking to that friend and telling him about the goodness of God, and as I talk to them, I preach to myself because I'm talking about the word, I'm just helping someone else in another situation.
But because I'm talking about how good God is, he can remind you like, as I am good for them, would I not be good for you? And the only way that I can still remember and understand how good God is, is by praying, is by asking, is by saying like, Jesus, like Thank you and thank you for like just being my savior, just giving me power.
Um, but also just being. You, because if I'm dwelling in you, if, if in this world we are dwelling in time and time runs our life, but you're so out of time that you're internal, you're internal, then why would I not pray with for you? Why would I not talk to you? Why would I not learn what you are and what you do?
Why would I not learn your name and all the ways you have helped people? Why would I not feel encouraged? And then it made me pause. And that pause was like, I have all these questions. And he's like, great. Bring them to me. And so my prayer life looks different. Um, before I started this book, it was all about me.
Like, I'm be very honest with you. It's like me, me, me, me, me, me, me. And then on Wednesday. God said, alright, here's the deal, little girl. We're gonna lay this out the altar, and I'm gonna show you how to lay it out the altar, laying it, al the altar, is gonna be different for everybody. So here's your formula.
I'm gonna give you from where we're talking to the drive home to talk about your problems and lay it out on me. Like if you wanna cry, do whatever, lay it out. But once this is done and once you left the car. We are not speaking about this anymore because you just have to have faith and trust me that you've said what you needed to say and it's gonna work out for your good.
I said deal then as a human. Like I didn't wanna share my testimony or I wanna share it with my close friends about like, this is the thing that I talked about God with. And he said, I gotta lay at the altar and I can't talk about it anymore. But I just talked about it with a friend and so I was like, oh, well sorry, Jesus, now I'm done.
'cause I just wanted to show to tell them like where we were and like what we were doing. Um, and I talked to Jesus, like, I'm talking to my best friend because if we're talking about like how Jesus wants to be with us, then he would be a best friend, right? But also he's your Lord, so you have to fear him.
Um. Fearing him means I don't wanna disappoint him. Disappointing him means I wanna obey him. Obeying him means I need to know who he is. Knowing who he is means I need to pray to him. Praying to him means I need to open the Bible because sometimes I just don't know and I don't have it in me to figure out.
So it's me looking up at my wall and talking to God at the same time, me talking to God, looking at. My ceiling, but that's what prayer is to me. I can only do what I know to do. But now I read this book and I have foundations and I was like, Ooh, I'm now gonna make a structure prayer like for this book.
But God's like, that's not who you are. I just wanted you to know how to pray to be, but it doesn't have to be a certain structure or a certain formula, even though in your mind that's what you enjoy. I just want you to trust me. I want you to know that in your trials and tribulations like I'm there and that I'm here to build your faith and your endurance, but the only way to build those things is for you to stop and give me your time and giving me your time.
You're probably like, what do I wanna do in this time? Well, you need to pray. Just sit down like you. It could be on your knees, it could be in a quiet spot. For whatever it is, just do it. And this book has inspired me just to ask the simple question of what is prayer? And the good thing about this book is I'm only giving you high level.
Like if you think this is deep baby, they break it down and you get opinions and views and it's just a moment of like thinking about, oh yes, I do that. No, I didn't do that. Maybe I should try that. Like you just get different perspectives that allow you to really. Answer this question on a deeper level.
What is prayer? Prayer is number one, communal, but how do we pray? How do we apply it? And overall, my podcast is about like, not only are we reading, but how are we applying this in real life? Like, yes, my podcast is our 15 minutes because I want you to get the information and then I want you to do it because I've now, in this season, I've heard somebody say.
What can you do in 24 hours? Well, I get, I only took 15 minutes of your time and God is asking, if you only gimme five minutes of your time, what can I do in 24 hours? What strength can I give you in 24 hours? And then as you do five, you do 10, 15, and oh my goodness, it just blows up and you're giving all this time to God.
And neither time was wrong. I think the only time that was wrong was when you weren't talking to him. But he's such a gracious God that he's like, I'll wait like. Your time and my time are two different times, but I'm gonna give you time. And the only thing in life that changes our seasons and time. And so if he's out of those things, he's like, I can change the season and I can change the time.
All I need you to do is talk to me. So I wait. And he just waits. And that is the beauty of God. Just waiting, just asking for things, just communicating with him, and not only asking for you, but asking for others because the number one thing he wants you to do is love your neighbor. Loving your neighbor looks like loving yourself.
Loving yourself means like giving time, communicate. You ask what you need. Then he takes it one step further and says, not only love your neighbor, love them more than you love yourself. So then you have to say, do I love self? Do I know what prayer is? Do I even know how to be a good friend? Do I even know how to communicate?
And if any of those things are no, how are you filling that gap? Because you can read all the books, you can do all the Bible studies, but if you're not actually in your work, do you even learn how to be a good friend? Do you even role model the behavior of Jesus? So I asked you again, what is prayer to you and how do you pray and how is it gonna help you in the future?
Thank you. Thank you for all the support. I see it and I am growing mighty, and I have some news. I have done a lot of projects since I've been gone. I would like you to visit my website, subscribe to my Spotify, and go to my Patreon account. It's Chai underscore Beauty, just like this podcast so you can get all the latest updates.
I can't wait to see you there because we are in this together, my friend. I look forward to seeing you.